Here is the next part taken from my book Creating A Bug Free Mind written in 2010
~ Fear grows in darkness; if you think there’s a bogeyman around, turn on the light ~
Dorothy Thompson
I was speaking with my son the other day and he was asking me why people commit suicide. I said it was because they were not present and did not have control of their minds; they were insane and they were living in fear of something. I asked him did he ever see a time when I would commit suicide, or when I would even fear something? He said, “No Daddy, you don’t fear anything.”
Now, children I am sure ‘believe’ that of their Dads anyway. But the truth is that most people spend their entire life going from one state of fear to another. When fear sets in we easily rationalise why we should stop advancing and start to retreat - or even just give up and run. At that point you can either use your energy to work out why you can or why you can’t do something, or why the answer is or is not available to you.
The First Step To Overcoming Fear Is Looking At The Worst Case Scenario
~ Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. ~
Bertrand Russell
Here’s a short story that maybe will help you see how someone who never really feared the ‘big’ stuff coped with some pretty scary stuff.
When I realised that I could no longer meet my obligations it was a very scary situation. Before, I had managed my fear of this simply by saying, “I’ll deal with that when and if I have to.” The fear I suppose was always present; I just kept it locked up in a cupboard. What was the point of ever going there?
I’d always had a fairly cool attitude towards fear. I had not yet overcome fear, I had merely mastered control over it. Now of course that’s different as I do not need to master control over something which I know isn’t there.
However, before I reached this state my big fears were other people’s insignificant ones. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest getting up in front of people to speak. It used to, then one day I was reviewing a goal list which included ‘Overcoming my fear of public speaking’. I realised I’d spoken at a lot of events, and without realising it, I no longer had this fear. It had not even dissolved, it just wasn’t there.
My big fears were things like walking into a pub and talking to the barman… (scary!) Yes, they were irrational fears. They were stupid fears. Don’t get me wrong, I could walk into a pub, I just had to concentrate as I walked in.
Then I had other minor fears like spiders. Though I never had really big fears that most people who are ‘stuck’, or you could say ‘procrastinate’, suffered with; I have never had a fear of failure. However, when I was faced with losing it all, I had to face the situation and see what was in the cupboard.
So I opened the door to my possible fear and took a look. I went down the road of what would happen in the worst case scenario. I’d lose everything including my home and my family and I would have to be housed in a guest house. But was that as bad as it could possibly get?
Well, even though I ‘believed’ I had done nothing wrong, I understand the legal system and maybe through ignorance there was something! If that was the case, I could go to prison and have to spend a maximum of two years for some sort of fraudulent crime. So this was as bad as it could get and was way beyond what was likely to happen.
I looked at all of the fallout for this. Let’s say my wife lost everything as well. The state would take care of her and she could get a job without too much trouble, so she could survive. It wouldn’t be good, but she would survive.
Then I looked at myself; well complete humiliation and a criminal record. Would that stop me being able to earn an income after I came out? No, not in the ways I make money. So then there would be the awful way I’d lose two years of my life. Well, two years to study and get super fit would be a nightmare wouldn’t it?!
As I would be a first time offender and the most likely prison I’d be sent to was within 10 miles of where we lived, the chances would be that I’d be let out for either weekends, or to work.
So I would get fit, study all the time, be able to work, and I would have a lot of time to think and decide an exceptional plan to re-build my riches. I’d also see my family a lot and even though some would think it a bad thing, I would get a chance to reflect and meet other people... Not everyone’s desire I agree, but I look at every eventuality as if it will be a positive experience. So therefore, if it happened then it would be right for me.
Within a few months my wife would be able to move into a better home because of the things I can do to make money. Even without access to a computer I could start to create an income just through direction. And if I did have access then it would be easy.
All of a sudden I was seeing two years off as a holiday, or rather a chance to go to university. I had turned this big negative into a big positive. Now anything less than prison would therefore be an improvement. So I had looked at the worst case scenario and it wasn’t so bad. In fact it looked actually quite appealing in a lot of ways.
What’s more, I realised that the worst case scenario was unlikely, and most likely was that I would just have to go bankrupt and my wife would be fine. So the most probable outcome would give me a bad time for about 3 to 6 months and then it would actually put me in a better position than I was currently in.
My conclusion was there was definitely nothing fatal in what could happen!
So what do you think would have been the point of being afraid?
Fear is a worry about what may happen in the future, and I had already worked out what I would have to do when the situation came up. I was simply in a state of acceptance of what could be and non-resistance to what was. I would therefore now do all I could to prevent the situation. However, I would not fear it or struggle against it as what would be the point? What happened in the end was the most probable case scenario. But because I had educated myself into the possibilities, what was there to fear?
Now moving back to my minor irrational fears, well a while back thanks to an NLP DVD from Andy Harrington, I removed my fear of spiders (anyone who fears spiders, it’s probably the best £50 you’ll ever spend).
Whilst I was going through the process of evaluating all the thoughts in my mind and observing each of them in turn, I shone the light on them and they just dissolved without effort. So that was the end of all of my fears. There was no big firework display as I removed them; they were just not there anymore.
So now I’ll show you how to do the same, however, there won’t be any fireworks. They just won’t be there for you anymore… does that sound good?
~ What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do ~
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I’ve been there, and made most of the mistakes I portray in this book, or I have observed them in others and see that I don’t do it that way myself. So please ‘believe’ me when I say this is not some holier than thou sermon. I know it is easier to live with ourselves if we cite some external reason for inaction, and if I have come across as arrogant in any way then that is not my intention. The intention is to focus on you and use my experiences and understanding to free your mind of all bugs, which make up the layers of crud, so that you can allow the life you desire to come in.
Our Understanding Of Fear Is Backward
~ Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. ~
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The physiological condition of fear is separate from any solid and true immediate danger. It comes in many, many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. But the whole point of physiological fear is always of something that might happen! Not something that is happening now!
Fear is caused by an anxiety gap between now and some future point. You are reading this now, so you are living proof of the next statement… You can always cope with the present moment! You have coped and handled every single awful situation that has come into your life situation. So I repeat: fear is caused by an anxiety gap between now and some future point. You are reading this now, so you are living proof of the next statement… you can always cope with the present moment!
But you cannot cope (i.e. it is impossible to cope) with something that is only a mind projection – i.e. you cannot cope with the future! First ask yourself what message is my body continuously receiving from my ego, which of course is the false mind-made self?
Your ego continuously sends this message about most situations, “Danger, I am under threat!” And of course what emotion is generated by this continuous message? Fear, of course.
A person with a strong sense of self worth will say, “I can handle anything. I don’t know how to handle it yet, but when the point arrives where I do need to know, then I know the information I require will come through.” I.e. they trust their ability to handle it – you have the ability too, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
Without fear, everything becomes an opportunity to learn and do more.
Are You Living In A State Of Faith?
~ To me faith means not worrying. ~
John Dewey
There are only two states of mind: fear and faith – and fear is an illusion! If you are in a state of fear, ask yourself could this possibly be why all this goal setting rubbish hasn’t worked?
When you are in the state of faith and you act from faith, you then energise your desires. Do not confuse a state of faith with any religious ‘beliefs.’ Faith was around long before religion ‘trademarked’ the word. Faith is a state of mind, e.g. you have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow.
When you are in the state of fear and you worry about ‘stuff’, you are stating to the Universe, “I think this.” The Universe thinks you are saying I ‘want’ more of thinking this, so of course as you asked for it, you get more of it. This isn’t complex. We just need to recognise what we are asking for and just ask for the thing we desire, not the thing we don’t want. The law of attraction is all just about asking the right question.
Fear based thought steals from us our power to create, which is our power to use the law of attraction. Let’s say you set a goal for a new car but you fear that you won’t get it. You have asked for more fear of not getting it, you haven’t asked for a new car.
In an unconscious mind this is the equation: I set a goal – I did not receive it – Goal setting does not work. Ask your ego if this is you.
In the conscious mind the equation works in two ways: I set a goal – I received it – Thank you
Or
I set a goal – I didn’t receive it – Have I given it enough time? Have I asked the right question? Did I really desire this in the first place? It is more likely that I will receive it at the best possible time and in the best possible way? – Thank you for reminding me of that. Or did I ask the right question?
Now out of the 3% of people who set goals, how many can be conscious enough to look at the answer from that point of view? The reason people achieve their goals is they move to a state of acceptance – more on this later.
Your Dominant Thought Becomes Your Reality
~ Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears. ~
Rudyard Kipling
The more you defend, the more life you give it; whatever you protect or defend against will become your reality. If you have lack of anything then you are simply attracting more lack of it to you. You therefore have to drop your fear of lack thoughts otherwise you will be ‘stuck’ as some would say. In truth though you are not stuck, you are merely repeating the same mistakes again and again.
For example, don’t worry about health. Relax and let go and it will come to you. Rather than worrying about health, relax and allow wellness in. Of course you may ‘want’ to consider putting the Big Mac down as well, as taking action is of course required here too.
But the higher your thoughts, the more life will go your way. If you can remove all traces of lack then you will have dissolved your fear of loss. Cause and effect comes back to you multiplied. The Universe, as I will come on to, is an abundance thing which, once you have removed fear from, you attract as much of what you desire as you desire. You cannot do this when acting from a state of fear.
Remember your physiological fear is not about what is happening now, it is about what may happen. Well that’s not now and you merely need to look at the worst case scenario. See that you will not die and recognise that you would be able to handle it ‘if’ it did happen, then you move forward.
Remember that acting from faith equals achieving your desires. Acting from fear equals repeating the same mistakes again.
Remember to question your assumptions. Just because you have assumed something to be true, does not make it true. Observe your conclusions from reading this and the conclusions you may have previously drawn from goal setting and simply then question those assumptions.
There’s a fair bit to think about and observe your reactions to here. Fear can be a tough one to crack. If you are anxious then re-read the section, there is no rush to get it, you just have to get it. I have only covered a few of the elements of fear so far. Just absorb these sections and observe how your ego is reacting to them. Don’t judge yourself, just observe.
***END***
I’ll publish How To Overcome All Fears Part 3 tomorrow.
Best wishes,
Andy
P.S. I have had a few questions in now for the “Paid Subscribers Webinar”, and I have a few ideas of my own.
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Can’t wait till the next article! Thanks Andy. Keep ‘em coming.
I'd like to be removed from this list. Thanks